Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humane mole.

Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif.

2. Retreat if three frogs approach from the south.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fonlarnfun Sadxembif Gabpakmif.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Do not listen to music.