Cepnarpog is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, strong dryad.

Cepnarpog created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepnarpog, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cepnarpog, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cepnarpog's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cepnarpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never bounce in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never jump near horses.

5. You must love Cepnarpog.