Bopnigpad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain squid.

Bopnigpad created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopnigpad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bopnigpad, it will turn you into a duck.

Bopnigpad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bopnigpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Bopnigpad loves cats, so they must be honoured.