Saspasrig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tiresome lobster.

Saspasrig created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saspasrig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Saspasrig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Saspasrig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Saspasrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Retreat if seven goats approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Do not cook food in pots.