Dotlarpvad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful meerkat.

Dotlarpvad created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotlarpvad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dotlarpvad, she will be very unhappy.

Dotlarpvad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dotlarpvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Worship no other gods but Dotlarpvad.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.