Artvadzig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet jaguar.

Artvadzig created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artvadzig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Artvadzig, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Artvadzig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Artvadzig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Artvadzig five times a day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.