Pomxucpan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate dugong.

Pomxucpan created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomxucpan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pomxucpan, he will be mildly annoyed.

Pomxucpan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Pomxucpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about badgers.