Milvinwik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying dolphin.

Milvinwik created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Milvinwik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Milvinwik, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Milvinwik's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Milvinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. You must pray to Milvinwik eight times a day.