Hapwoddoss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, charitable parrot.

Hapwoddoss created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hapwoddoss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hapwoddoss, she will curse you with boils.

Hapwoddoss' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hapwoddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Never feed cucumbers to ducks while wearing violet hats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must pray to Hapwoddoss six times a day.