Taphintam is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, self-confident badger.

Taphintam created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Taphintam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Taphintam, she will manifest in front of you.

Taphintam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Taphintam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Hide if six ducks approach from the north.