Hatgephog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest toad.

Hatgephog created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatgephog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hatgephog, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hatgephog's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hatgephog's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatgephog.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Never jump near cats.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.