Tofmipduss is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, all-powerful raccoon.

Tofmipduss created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofmipduss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tofmipduss, he will remove you from existence.

Tofmipduss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tofmipduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Run away if nine otters approach from the north.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tofmipduss.