Rutyoksom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, confident lion.

Rutyoksom created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutyoksom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rutyoksom, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rutyoksom's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Rutyoksom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rutyoksom.

3. Hide from turquoise tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.