Gebzedbarnnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy salamander.

Gebzedbarnnurt created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebzedbarnnurt, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gebzedbarnnurt, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gebzedbarnnurt's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gebzedbarnnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of hamsters.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Run away from red nematodes, for they are unholy.