Fubtapfed is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair elephant.

Fubtapfed created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fubtapfed, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fubtapfed, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fubtapfed's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fubtapfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick geese.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.