Bafarnwap is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, almighty monkey.

Bafarnwap created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafarnwap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bafarnwap, she will cry a lot.

Bafarnwap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bafarnwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head magenta.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bafarnwap on top of all buildings.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.