Flabmetflow is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, charitable scorpion.

Flabmetflow created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Flabmetflow, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flabmetflow, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Flabmetflow's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Flabmetflow's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flabmetflow.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

4. Feed all hungry moths.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.