Ligpakbem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fast mole.

Ligpakbem created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligpakbem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ligpakbem, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ligpakbem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ligpakbem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Ligpakbem on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ligpakbem.

4. Always obey Ligpakbem's priests.

5. Do not shave your head.