Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonourable cow.

Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Matquatjonmindotkadnurt Negcudyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.