Wabtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing bat.

Wabtonk created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Wabtonk, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wabtonk, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wabtonk's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Wabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabtonk.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.