Tonappfut is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awe-inspiring finch.

Tonappfut created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonappfut, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tonappfut, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tonappfut's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tonappfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Run away if three pigs approach from the south.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.