Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering beaver.

Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of birds.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Jipgadbun Nigbeglarp loves swans, so they must be respected.