Vogvonkleg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate manatee.

Vogvonkleg created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vogvonkleg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogvonkleg, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vogvonkleg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vogvonkleg's Holy Commandments

1. Vogvonkleg loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Run away if eight seals approach from the east.

5. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the north.