Cittaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish octopus.

Cittaf created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cittaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cittaf, he will not invite you to parties.

Cittaf's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cittaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Never wear magenta scarves.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Cittaf on top of all buildings.

5. Fast once a month.