Fentonrul is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, smart whale.

Fentonrul created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Fentonrul, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Fentonrul, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fentonrul's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fentonrul's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Fentonrul on top of all buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick manatees.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not kill tortoises.