Xucstanjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, almighty owl.

Xucstanjarn created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucstanjarn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xucstanjarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Xucstanjarn's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Xucstanjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Xucstanjarn loves gulls, so they must be respected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not covet oxen.