Hammidboss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental slug.

Hammidboss created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hammidboss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hammidboss, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hammidboss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hammidboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hammidboss.

5. Worship no other gods but Hammidboss.