Pakkopnurt is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humane shrew.

Pakkopnurt created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pakkopnurt, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pakkopnurt, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Pakkopnurt's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pakkopnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Worship no other gods but Pakkopnurt.

4. Never wear red hats.

5. Run away from magenta birds, for they are unholy.