Loopbarnzengar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, kind naga.

Loopbarnzengar created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopbarnzengar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopbarnzengar, it will send you a sign.

Loopbarnzengar's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Loopbarnzengar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head white.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Feed all hungry cats.

4. Do not eat bananas.

5. Never eat green fruit.