Zigdinart Somsugbest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid crane.

Zigdinart Somsugbest created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigdinart Somsugbest, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zigdinart Somsugbest, she will come to you in dreams.

Zigdinart Somsugbest's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zigdinart Somsugbest's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zigdinart Somsugbest.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always obey Zigdinart Somsugbest's priests.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.