Ripjoncab Ruttwittan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy crow.

Ripjoncab Ruttwittan created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Ripjoncab Ruttwittan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ripjoncab Ruttwittan, she will turn you into a tree.

Ripjoncab Ruttwittan's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ripjoncab Ruttwittan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ripjoncab Ruttwittan first in all things.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never talk about dolphins.