Hadgomcep Podfun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, ruthless dog.

Hadgomcep Podfun created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadgomcep Podfun, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hadgomcep Podfun, he will turn you into a duck.

Hadgomcep Podfun's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hadgomcep Podfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Hadgomcep Podfun loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Pray towards the south.