Tarpxucdun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured otter.

Tarpxucdun created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpxucdun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarpxucdun, he will try to impress you with trees.

Tarpxucdun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tarpxucdun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarpxucdun.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Do not make images of living things.