Dancambif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful spider.

Dancambif created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dancambif, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dancambif, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dancambif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dancambif's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Retreat if four goats approach from the east.

5. Do not drink alcohol.