Jarnarnboss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jarnarnboss created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarnboss, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jarnarnboss, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Jarnarnboss' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Jarnarnboss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven hamsters approach from the north.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Gulls are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Never wear mauve skirts.