Butmanarmdam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain cow.

Butmanarmdam created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Butmanarmdam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Butmanarmdam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Butmanarmdam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Butmanarmdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Butmanarmdam.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never wear shoes.