Vonarnstip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, competent snail.

Vonarnstip created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonarnstip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonarnstip, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vonarnstip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Vonarnstip's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Vonarnstip three times a day.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Vonarnstip loves turtles, so they must be respected.