Rigmattaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, blissful hedgehog.

Rigmattaf created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigmattaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rigmattaf, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rigmattaf's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Rigmattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never bounce near snails.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.