Paktimnill is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited chicken.

Paktimnill created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktimnill, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Paktimnill, he will cry a lot.

Paktimnill's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Paktimnill's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise moths for they are unholy.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.