Garfligpag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, merciless grasshopper.

Garfligpag created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garfligpag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Garfligpag, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Garfligpag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Garfligpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Garfligpag loves birds, so they must be respected.