Tinwipbon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, caring bird.

Tinwipbon created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinwipbon, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tinwipbon, she will turn you into a goat.

Tinwipbon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tinwipbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tinwipbon's priests.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tinwipbon.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.