Gonflaghat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic spider.

Gonflaghat created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflaghat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonflaghat, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gonflaghat's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gonflaghat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Gonflaghat must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think ill of sick eagles.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.