Quartlogcid Zagarfwig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent monkey.

Quartlogcid Zagarfwig created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartlogcid Zagarfwig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quartlogcid Zagarfwig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quartlogcid Zagarfwig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Quartlogcid Zagarfwig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. You must love Quartlogcid Zagarfwig.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartlogcid Zagarfwig.