Tigjinhim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, happy fly.

Tigjinhim created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tigjinhim, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tigjinhim, she will turn you into a rock.

Tigjinhim's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tigjinhim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. You must pray to Tigjinhim eight times a day.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.