Rutkinjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient ferret.

Rutkinjan created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutkinjan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rutkinjan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Rutkinjan's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Rutkinjan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never talk about stars.