Fetsasgess is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witless fox.

Fetsasgess created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetsasgess, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fetsasgess, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fetsasgess' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fetsasgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Put Fetsasgess first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about planets.