Cemsandkem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous porpoise.

Cemsandkem created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemsandkem, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemsandkem, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cemsandkem's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Cemsandkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snails.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Cemsandkem loves swans, so they must be respected.