Fonveenfid is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ruthless dog.

Fonveenfid created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonveenfid, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonveenfid, she will jump up and down on your head.

Fonveenfid's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fonveenfid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat snails with great respect.

5. Always obey Fonveenfid's priests.