Garflistip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy hamster.

Garflistip created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Garflistip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Garflistip, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Garflistip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Garflistip's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Run away if seven mites approach from the north.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Always stare at clouds.