Fudpindussfly is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unselfish crab.

Fudpindussfly created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Fudpindussfly, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fudpindussfly, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fudpindussfly's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fudpindussfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet fawn.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fudpindussfly.

4. Run away if three foxes approach from the south.

5. Never go into red rooms.